spookysqueaks

Plus ça change...

2008-07-03T09:43:11Z

It's been a strange year so far.

I'm currently jobless, but not broke. I made school a priority over everything, and commuting was too much of a drain for a job that made me miserable every weekend, with no real money after all the commuting I ended up doing. Since I had a nest egg saved up, I quit and focused on school.

This got me a 3.81, only one B+, the rest A's. I got accepted in my school's BFA program for costume production, which made me so happy I fell apart after I got out of the meeting. I even got told by a teacher before I've even entered the program proper that I should start looking into master programs, because I'd be wasting my talent otherwise. This is what I want to do, I love clothes, and this is what I want to do with my life.

It's not without it's pitfalls though. 3 full on complete nervous breakdowns, 2 of them after the semester finished. I've lost a great deal of my support network, though everything from women to just not having time to talk to anyone. It's been tough, but I'm, as always going to be fine. Not being able to find a job up here since I quit my last one has been bugging me alot too, but I'm not destitute yet, and I got a gym membership so I could at least try to get back in shape after a year of sitting in a basement.

There's a silver lining to that too, I'm giving a crap again, I'm not just sitting there and letting people take the reins of my life or my choices. I'm giving advice, and it's wierd to be doing that. When people ask me for it, I try my best to give them the advice they need, as opposed to what I think they should do. It's hard, especially with how much power you can have over those people who've put their trust in your ideas.

I miss everyone though, I miss chicago. I miss going to nice restaurants and babbling about everything and nothing, I miss the 20 deep in paddy o's on a sunday night. I miss rants about holding up GW in an Arby's with a brick. I miss all you fuckers, even if I haven't talked to you in forever.<3

But beer is finally defeating my wretched insomnia, so I bid you all adieu, I miss you, and goodnight <3

drunken self-aggrandizing bullshit

2007-11-03T05:27:51Z

Why do I feel the need to put this here, i can't honestly say.

To the one it concerns,

I'm angry, i'm hurt. I feel as if I put myself onto a limb and was only received with slings and arrows.

You tell me you want me, you sit there and say I haven't been paying enough attention.

I've sacrificed myself, my social life. You've been angry with me seeing my friends instead of calling you when I had been texting you all day prior, my phone being dead and me sleeping on a cot in the freezing cold basement of a theatre. You've been as you said, having the time of your life with your friends without me, yet you scold me for not paying attention to you when you can't even call me. ever. But you have room to scold me on it.

You slept in someones elses bed for a month, and didn't say anything til I called you on it, and I had to be fine with that course of event. Your ex-boyfriend. Because it was between that and the floor. I slept on a cold wall while you were there, fifteen minutes away, less than two dollars worth of gas, in someone elses god damn bed. Too involved in your own world to call me because you were having the time of your life, but lucid enough to condemn me for not living in yours more than I already have been, sacrificing the things that actually mean something to me.

I waited, I sat there and took your bullshit. I've had to deal with a totaled car, a sprained knee, my school loans being rejected and having to pay out of pocket, a tough school schedule, a play, and you pretty much ignoring me unless it's been convenient. Then I get told I'm not doing enough.

I break down, and instead of trying to reach out, you just pushed me away.

Fuck it. Fuck you. You let me forget what I wanted, then tore me to shreds.

You said you love me, on your own, without duress, without meaning. but your not willing to do anything with it. Rather, you hold it as bait, to keep me running along, doing your fucking bidding.

Well I'm done, compromise, or get out.

I might be in pieces again, but I'll just reinvent myself; Better as always. You'll just end up like everyone else. Nowhere else than where we left off.

My party is tomorrow and here's directions!

2007-09-29T02:41:13Z

Pretty simple.

If you're coming from 94/43 you get off at exit 333 onto hwy 20 heading east. Follow hwy 20 all the way into town and it will eventually merge with seventh avenue. Quickly after that Villa Ave will come up, take a right onto it, go down one block and the address is 815 villa lower. Look for the Thing from the black lagoon in the window, easy huh? Thought so.

Grab some drinkage and get your ass here tomorrow!

<3's and lasers

P-Frank

P.S. ADHD is explaining the lack of calling, and school, and make-up, and sewing...but I have a pincushion that looks like a ninja.

Repost from elsewhere, let me know what you think!

2007-09-07T13:34:44Z

Sunday, September 30th is going to be my birthday. Last year I threw a huge ass party and everyone had a great time(and ended up drunker than me). I hope to do the same thing this year.

I dont' have the exactly place for the party yet, a few offers of party space, trying to figure out my best option.

Last year everyone brought a bottle or a pack of beer of some sorts and it went great, over 4 grand worth of alchohol was consumed. Figure it will work this time

Trying to get a general headcount so let me know if you're interested cause I'd love to see you all there!

School!

2007-08-31T18:09:45Z

Monday and Wednesday - Theatre production and design 9:30-10:45,Theatre Studies 12:30-1:45, Costume Studio 2-9
Tuesday and Thursday - Technical Practicum 12:30-1:45, Practicum studio 2-5
Friday - Make Up 10 - 11:50

Might throw another tues/Thurs class in the morning, but I'm not sure what, but I can't wait to start!

The sweeping insensitiviy of this still life.

2007-08-14T04:23:59Z

I've been listening to alot of Imogen Heap lately. As it always does, it coincides with a very large amount of introspection on my part.

It's been a little over a year since the accident on my bike, my face is completely healed with the few scars and the partial the only reminders of it. The missing ligament in my knee only an afterthought after running around and being surprised it doesn't hurt. Almost a year to the day, I've got myself another mountain bike, a nice one, a bit pricey, but worth it.

I was tenative getting on it at first, once bitten twice shy and all, but as soon as I got on and started going. I realized how strongly i missed it. It was a freedom for me, something I could jump on and fly off by myself. God, it had been too long. There's no way I can describe the exhileration of finally taking that back for myself.

I see myself in my own head at times floating in the middle of space and all around me are stars. Some flare up, some go out. The brightest one is still there and I hope to take it for myself one day. But first I must get there on my own power, the journey as important as the destination.

I miss the strangest people that aren't present in my life currently. Sometimes I think my greatest curse is misinterpretations of my intentions. I've walked so far molding the unique view I've taken on life, it's getting hard to relate to some people at times. I see that things have to be this way. I've never been more comfortable in my own skin than at this part of my life, and I only seeing it fit better as I move on.

In some ways, it seems to be the only way to be noble is to be caught being noble or remind everyone of the good you do. On the other hand, to do such to me goes along the lines about being too serious about self-aggrandizing. The million kindnesses gone unnoticed I think are far more important, at least to me, than the big shows and placing the burden of acknowledgement on someone.

On the other side of the note, I see some people in this world that are essentially dead coming out of the door. They live in this life that they've propped up like a house of card built on false pretenses and a million little different sideshows of feigned intrest in anything but their own selfish needs without any thought to anyone else around them and I can't help but feel a great contempt for those people. I was there at one point myself, but it toppled and I finally had to move up and on, I learned, I grew, I made myself a little bit better. I see these people, it topples, they build it up again and again and again. It's painful to watch and seeing it for a good period of a time starts to drag me back.

I can't wait for school to start again. It feels as if my lifes been slowed to a crawl this summer. I've found something I honestly enjoy and can't wait to dive headfirst into it.

Thats about it for this seasons word vomit, take care everyone <3

spookysqueaks @ 2007-06-14T13:47:00

2007-06-14T18:48:39Z

I have saturday and sunday off and nothing to do.

Give me ideas.

Update

2007-04-10T21:48:03Z

Well, got back from the doctor, and it's a sinus infection, he thinks it was the mildew and such, agitated it. He wasn't sure why the headaches were so bad, but he figures it triggered a migrane(thats new for me :()

Gave me a shot of antihistamine and I'm feeling a bit better, antibiotics come soon also.

Oh yeah, and I got laid off from work while waiting.

I think I'm broken.

2007-04-10T09:28:30Z

I normally wouldn't go into a public diatribe on the matter, I hate putting myself in the spotlight on the internet, especially complaining, but I'm at a loss for what I should do.

I am used to headaches, I have them near constantly, and I survive. This is the first time I've had one so bad for so long.

Sunday I had an anxiety attack while heading home to milwaukee, I ended up talking to one of my friends the night and passing out. I woke up to my head throbbing fairly bad. Got into my apartment, and the smell of mildew from my leaking ceiling made my head hurt so bad it dropped me to my knees (which pretty much popped my left one over again, but thats besides the fact) I spent pretty much until the late evening laying in my bed hoping it would go away and it hadn't, I ended up taking the rest of my leftover vicodin to get myself out of enough pain to operate. It's now 4 in the morning and the pains once again so bad I can't sleep.

It feels like a constant hard pain all around my head then the top is an especially sharp pain.

If anyone has any idea what this is or what Ic an do about, leave me a message, call me, something.

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

2007-02-13T18:08:29Z

It's quotes that start like that which remind me why I loved the original dune series so much, as I sit here and sip cup #5 for the day. It's been awhile since I've committed anything in words outside of schoolwork so I figure an update is in order.

I'm heading out of the butt end of a rut I realize I've been in for the last number of months. I despise failing, especially when the situation is out of my hands. When effort I put forward is put to waste, it agitates me to know end. I get focused on trying to fix it or ignore it if I can't do anything about it, and tunnel vision kicks in. Can't see the forest from the trees, and I start to isolate myself, which isn't necessarily bad, mind you. I'm finally feeling the urge to be a social creature again, so expect to hear more from me. To those that have kinda fallen by the wayside, don't feel discouraged, I'm still alive, and kicking, possibly even flailing.

So for a quick list of updates -

A. Knee injury from bike accident and further agitated by my own lack of knowing limits has been diagnosed as a missing ligament in my top know (only 3 of the 4 there are attatched) might need surgery later on, but I can pretty much walk and run again and it only gets back after a being on it for a pretty length period of time.

B. Schools going alright, actually enjoying my classing, taking a break from getting myself caught up and a bit ahead on my homework to put some words down here. Making friends and generally having a good time, puncutated by a mid class bar trip on wedsnday, makes sociology a trip.

C. Things with the beau are excellent, can't complain there, getting got me a gift to go to a hairdresser to get my hair done and dyed however I want, so I got pretty homo-excited about the whole thing :P..

D. Works decent albeit slow, nice liking everyone you work with.

Otherwise been pretty unremarkable. Gotta figure out what color and style to go with my hair, anyone got an idea/Color. Doesn't matter how crazy, cause I can rock it with work.

Otherwise to amuse people I bring you pictues of the cat.

Gamer dorkdom and cat pictures, how can you lose :P

Does the kitty hate the microwave, or doesn the microwave hate her ^^

Now back to history of costume, and to learn 8 more ways to say loincloth :P

In brighest day...

2007-01-18T19:33:33Z

Monday - I'm sitting inside of my friends house when I hear my car alarm go out. I head outside to behold the back end of my car was the bitch in a hit and run. Damaged pretty bad, get a rental.

Wedsnday - Find out my car is totaled and I need to get a new one.

Needless to say, I think midwinter plans are out this year.

Oh well, I think It's for the best, considering I work sunday for 12 hours before school starts.

Forgive my lack of HTML skills.

2006-10-18T22:03:26Z

If you had to summarize all of the unique, crazy, weird, stupid - in one word, all the 'quite particular' things - you did, or that happened to you in your lifetime, in 10 to 15 short statements, what would you list? The best or most interesting are often the first that come to mind, so don't overthink it!

My list o crazy

-Made my philosophy professor laugh so hard he fell down the stairs and busted his chin open(today actually)
-Woken up from a dream not realizing I was dreaming, and acting accordingly
-Been told by a psychiatrist that I should be instutionalized at 13(Shared with Sonanova, unfortunately mom started to agree and at 16, off I went for 5-6 months, blech)
-Walked away after being hit by a car(twice, once by a car on my bike, and once by a bus that turned wihout a signal)
-Did cocaine damn near everyday for a year of high school(Bad Frank! :( )
-Stayed up for 5 straight days on nothing but coffee and french fries
-Skipped a Grade in school
-Almost got expelled in high school for making workig scale models of torture devices used during the inquisition for a school report
-Flirted with a transvestite not knowing it was one (still got her number after I found out, so ha)
-Had a pidgeon dive bomb out of the sky, hit me square in the chest and fall to the ground dead
-Have had no less than 6 people tell me they were in love with me and wanted to be with me, within a day of meeting them *creepy*
-own an item that was evidence in an attempted assisnation case against reagan

I'll think of more later if I feel inspired.

spookysqueaks @ 2006-09-26T00:26:00

2006-09-26T05:27:35Z

I'm at school/new job every day from 8-9 this week until saturday.

I was woken up off the couch at my friends house after I passed out there doing econ.

At least the weekend will be good.

spookysqueaks @ 2006-09-22T15:04:00

2006-09-22T20:06:38Z

Tuesday - Second Interview for new job

Wedsnday - get told I got the job, told I start next tuesday

Friday - Get called in.

How's that for some shit, either way...yay money.

Caffinated Musings

2006-09-06T14:54:32Z

It's been a hectic first two days of school so far. Traffic has been an issue, with the construction going on, and despite being on the bus, the delays have made me miss both my first classes each day. I'm going to start driving and hobbling my ass the few blocks from school so I can actually make it on time until this construction settles down and 1-94 isn't constricted to a 2 lane highway during rush hour. Otherwise classes have gone well. My first Economics class had the professor regaling us with some of the insane notes students have written to him over the years, highlight being one of a conception that occured in the room on the balcony while he was giving a speech.

Otherwise I've spend the last hour and a half finding a pleasant spot on campus, reading a short story out of Burning Chrome, and then moving to another spot and repeating the process, it's been wonderful.

Snakes on a mutherfucking plane

2006-08-20T12:18:52Z

This movie was everything I expected from it and it was wonderful, if you haven't seen it yet, go do so.

I don't usually like movies that make me jump (I'm jumpy enough as it is :P) but i'd totally rock it again.

Anyways life's been alright, broke my face and been out of work, if you want to know more go to http://www.myspace.com/personofmassdestruction.

Complete with pic of my messed up face.

spookysqueaks @ 2006-07-13T01:05:00

2006-07-13T06:05:55Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. (I have moments where I tend to punctuate my sentences with fuck.)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

× I have broken someone's bones.	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (been there, got it off my chest, it's done and I'm out)	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	× I need/want money right now.
✓ I love sushi. (mmm eel)	✓ I talk really, really fast. (I can be an absolute babble cannon at times.)	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling. (Four, actually.)
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings.	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. (Two words, health care.)	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. (More than that.)	✓ I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (My mom would whup your ass.)
✓ I have a mobile phone. (Razr complete with Bluetooth headset. Yup, I'm a nerd.)	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (What would be the fun if you knew what you wanted down the line.)	✓ I want to have children in the future.
× I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything. (Mildly allergic to grapefruit juice, but I have to drink ALOT.)
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (Tried? ha!)	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (Nah, I'm usually the one on the other end of the equation)
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music. (Johnny Cash!)
✓ I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger. (I'd rather date someone a bite more mature than me.)
✓ I study for tests most of the time. (last minute, everytime)	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced. (Used too...got torn out by a cat)
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs. (I'm proballyg oing to have one)	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
✓ I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	✓ I talk in my sleep. (allegedly, I've never heard it.)
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	✓ I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	× I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	✓ I love hugs more than kisses. (

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<cuddle slut)') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

(<a href="http://pyesetz.furtopia.org/meme-3col-DeathNote.html">Click here</a> to post your own answers for this meme.) <table style="background-color: white" border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=6>
<col width="33%">
<col width="33%">
<col width="33%">
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I miss somebody right now.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I don't watch much TV these days.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I own lots of books.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I wear glasses or contact lenses.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I love to play video games.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I've tried marijuana.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I've watched porn movies.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I curse sometimes.  (I have moments where I tend to punctuate my sentences with fuck.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.</td>
</tr>
</table><lj-cut text="it goes on...">* * * * *<table style="background-color: white" border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=6>
<col width="33%">
<col width="33%">
<col width="33%">
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have broken someone's bones.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.  (been there, got it off my chest, it's done and I'm out)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I hate the rain.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I'm paranoid at times.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I need/want money right now.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I love sushi.  (mmm eel)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I talk really, really fast.  (I can be an absolute babble cannon at times.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have fresh breath in the morning.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have long hair.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have lost money in Las Vegas.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have at least one sibling.  (Four, actually.)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I was born in a country outside of the U.S.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I like the way that I look.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am usually pessimistic.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have a lot of mood swings.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I think prostitution should be legalized.  (Two words, health care.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I slept with a roommate.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have a hidden talent.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have a lot of friends.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.  (More than that.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I enjoy talking on the phone. </td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.  (My mom would whup your ass.)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have a mobile phone.  (Razr complete with Bluetooth headset. Yup, I'm a nerd.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I've rejected someone before.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I currently like/love someone.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.  (What would be the fun if you knew what you wanted down the line.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I want to have children in the future.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have changed a diaper before.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I've called the cops on a friend before.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm not allergic to anything.  (Mildly allergic to grapefruit juice, but I have to drink ALOT.)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have a lot to learn.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am shy around the opposite sex.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have at least 5 away messages saved.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.  (Tried? ha!)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.  (Nah, I'm usually the one on the other end of the equation)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I own the "South Park" movie.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I enjoy some country music.  (Johnny Cash!)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I would die for my best friends.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have used my sexuality to advance my career.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have dated a close friend's ex.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I am happy at this moment.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm obsessed with guys.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Democrat.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Republican.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I don't even know what I am.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am punk rockish.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger.  (I'd rather date someone a bite more mature than me.)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I study for tests most of the time.  (last minute, everytime)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I can work on a car.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I love my job(s).</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have more than just my ears pierced.  (Used too...got torn out by a cat)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I walk barefoot wherever I can.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have jumped off a bridge.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I love sea turtles.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am proficient on a musical instrument.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I hate office jobs.  (I'm proballyg oing to have one)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I went to college out of state.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am adopted.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am a pyro. </td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I fall for the worst people.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I adore bright colours.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I usually like covers better than originals. </td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I can pick up things with my toes.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I can't whistle.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have ridden/owned a horse.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I still have every journal I've ever written in.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I talk in my sleep.  (allegedly, I've never heard it.)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I wear a toe ring.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have a tattoo.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I am a caffeine junkie.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm an artist.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am ambidextrous.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have terrible teeth.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I hate my toes.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have more friends on the internet than in real life.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have lived in either three different states or countries.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am extremely flexible.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I love hugs more than kisses.  (<cuddle slut)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I want to own my own business.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I smoke.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.  (I bawled like a bitch at the end of Hero)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I can't stand being alone.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have at least one obsession at any given time.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I'm a judgmental asshole.  (I'd prefer opinionated.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm a HUGE drama-queen.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have travelled on more than one continent.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am a Libertarian.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I can speak more than one language.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I would rather read than watch TV.  (Terry Pratchet especially.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I like reading fact more than fiction.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have no piercings.  (8g Ears and more on the way)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I like most animals better than most people.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles.  (Had them since they were new.)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have hit someone with a dead fish.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am compulsively honest.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.  (It' used to happen once or twice a week.)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I dislike milk.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I obsessively wash my hands.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I always carry something significant around with me.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I do not 'get' most comedy acts.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.  (I have a few good friends who are strippers, and my mother WAS one)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I don't like to chew gum.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I love to sing.  (by myself)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have a custom-built computer.  (I'm a nerd)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I've gone skinny-dipping.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I've performed in three plays.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I enjoy burritos.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm Irish and loving it.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I have a thing for redheads.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I am a twin!</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.  (I think having something intellectual is fun)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.  (I'm way to easily distracted to focus, I multitask)</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I sleep more than 12 hours a day.  (more than 6 and I'm draggin all day)</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I need more time to myself.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I wish I was more open-minded.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I hope that I go really prematurely grey.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I download songs from the internet.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I say random things to freak people out.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I love playing Truth or Dare.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Music helps me remember that I am not alone.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I think this survey is particularly long.</td>
</tr>
<tr valign=top>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white">✓ I can only hate someone that I love.</td>
<td style="color:black; background-color:white"> × I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.</td>
</tr>
</table></lj-cut>

origins

2006-06-08T17:55:12Z

I have descended from the mountain of "I'm way to god damned busy" to see how everyone is doing and bring forth a question.

Are any of you wonderful people going to origins this year and would like to combine plans, I'm trying to find a way to carpool/roomsplit/whatnot for the weekend.

Let me know!

spookysqueaks @ 2006-05-02T00:33:00

2006-05-02T05:36:12Z

My friend was sitting on his couch and found a mummified mouse while looking for the remotes. He flipped out in a matter that could only be defined as fucking nuts.

I have to say it was some of the funniest shit on the planet.

how long would a mouse take inside a couch to completely mummify, thats my question.

spookysqueaks @ 2006-04-21T17:13:00

2006-04-21T22:13:36Z

Comment on this post and...

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

spookysqueaks @ 2006-04-08T19:11:00

2006-04-09T00:14:50Z

It's my first real day off from work in two weeks.

Go me.

I will spend the rest of the day laying on the couch watching seven samurai and tinkering with my new phone.

yawn

2006-03-22T11:57:49Z

now for a long drive to carpentersville, IL for a speeding ticket

blech

Pretty hilarious if you ask me.

2006-03-18T08:25:22Z

So in light of my happy urge to go get drunk this weekend, wedsnday I ended up vomiting, and looking down at it, I realized that it was black and red with my own blood.

My ulcer is going nuts.

So I got to play drunk babysitter all night.

I'm not sure if it's irony, but you gotta laugh or you'll cry as I always say.

St. Paddy's fun

2006-03-09T21:29:06Z

I got my two days off next week I asked for.

So everyone should go to Paddy 'O's in Kenosha and come get blitzed with me.

If you show up I'll even buy ya a drink :P

A good night.

2006-02-26T16:29:56Z

My first experience with long island iced teas went smashingly well, focus on the smashed.

Good friends, hilarious conversation, a plan to have someone dress up as Aquaman and beat up Chris Anderson and post it to the internet.

Good times, never drinking like that again.

I give that previous statement a life til the next time someone pays for drinks.